This article is going to focus on how to start homework in a positive and successful way, and I will write some posts in the near future about more strategies for sticking to homework and coping with the frustrations that can come along with it. If you would like to receive a notice of when I have written these, don’t forget to join our newsletter in the form below. We do not send any spam and we do not pass on our email addresses to anyone. Alternatively, follow us on Twitter or Facebook and you should see our ‘announcement’ there.

1. Prepare Yourself:

This is probably one of the most important, shortest and most forgotten steps you can take. It is very easy to jump straight from one activity (e.g. lunch) to homework, because we want to get it done. Unfortunately, when we do this, we are bringing with us all the “baggage” of the previous activity. We may have been frustrated with the mess at the table, flustered by the rush of the afternoon, annoyed by the war that broke out between the kids or any number of everyday issues. This step is really only about taking 1 moment (or more if you need it) to calm yourself down, let everything else go and focus on developing a positive attitude towards the homework. Our attitude towards the homework can go a long way towards helping our children calm and focus during homework.

Here’s how to achieve this: First, remind yourself that whatever just happened is just a normal part of parenting/daily life with kids and that the children will have forgotten it in a matter of moments. If necessary, remind yourself also, that although it may seem like it, they didn’t mean to be naughty, disrespectful, clumsy, lazy, careless or whatever may have happened. Next, take a few deep breaths and help yourself get into your calm place. Finally, remind yourself that it is important for you to be positive about homework (even if you are sick of it and have done it for 5 kids already) in order for your child to be positive about it. Even though these seem quite logical, we all have a tendency to not focus on these things. Keeping our focus on these can really help us maintain our patience going into and enduring the task of homework.

2. Get Organised:

Another seemingly logical, but often overlooked, task is getting organised and prepared. Being fully prepared will avoid unnecessary interruptions which will interfere with the flow of the work. It will also ensure your child doesn’t have the opportunity to get off task by having to hunt down some necessary tool or “go to the toilet”. It can be hard to keep track of what you need to do to get prepared, but having a paper or mental checklist can be very useful. Here are some things we recommend you do/consider before starting homework:

Go to the toilet: ensure your child has recently been to the toilet before you start, even if they say they don’t need to go. Remind them that there will be no toilet breaks in the middle of homework time.

Have a drink or snack: You can choose if you would like to give your child a drink and/or snack before or during homework, depending on what works for your child, but ensure that this has been organised beforehand to avoid trips to the kitchen.

Prepare tools and materials: Don’t forget to have a quick check through to make sure you have all the pencils, rubbers, scissors, glue, paper and anything else you may need. Personally, I like to keep a separate pencil box for homework time and I check and sharpen pencils while my son is doing his homework, so that all pencils are sharp for the next day.

3. Stay positive:

Homework is arguably one of the greatest stressors of most parents. This is primarily because it is a repetitive task, and most parents have several children with which to do homework (at this moment, I only have two children and I am already bored with homework). It can also raise the most emotive of feeling by children, and if your child has any regulatory or attention issues, this can make it much more difficult. It is important for you to “keep your cool”, but even more, to stay positive. Continue to count homework as a blessing that helps you keep on top of what your child is doing at school and how they are progressing. Before and during homework, remind yourself that this too shall pass and that this “battle” with homework will actually stand your child in good stead when he/she is older.

4. Be Empathetic:

As much as we are soooo tempted to say “Just deal with it”, or “You just have to do your homework”, these aren’t particularly helpful to someone who is having a hard time. It’s a little like when you are so completely frustrated with something (say your child’s endless tears) and your husband or best friend turns to you and says “tough” when you are looking for a listening ear. Instead, remember that your child is experiencing his/her feelings intensely (children feel emotions very strongly). Help your child know that you understand how they are feeling by saying things like “I know you don’t like homework, so let’s do it as quickly as we can so that we can do X” or “I know this feels like a big job, but we will tackle it together”. Avoid minimising their feelings whenever possible (try not to say anything like “it’s not that bad” or “it’s only a bit of homework”). When you feel someone is not on your side (even if this is not true), you are less likely to be open to working with them.

5. Setting boundaries

Children can find the task of homework particularly overwhelming when it seems like it will be a never-ending task. Setting some boundaries about how long they will work for can be hugely helpful in letting them see the end point. Smaller chunks will be useful, especially if homework takes longer, with a break in between. Telling your child “We will work on this for 15 minutes and then get a break” will help them see an end. Using colourful timers can be useful too (there are currently countless apps that will show visual timers suitable for children of various ages). Remember that the boundary doesn’t have to be set all the way until homework is finished, but can be set to the next “break”. Also, remember, if your child is taking a particularly long time on homework, you may need to talk to his/her teacher about what a reasonable amount of time is.

Another thing to think about is setting boundaries about what your child will or will not do during this time. For example, say something like: “We are going to work for 15 minutes and stay sitting and concentrating for that whole 15 minutes before our break”.

6. Offer Incentives

Children really do work for rewards. In fact, even we work for rewards. The difference is that we can be more internally motivated and our “rewards” can be more subtle (for example, as much as I hate housework, walking into a tidy room makes me feel much less stressed, which motivates me to do it at least every so often!). For children, rewards need to be more concrete and obvious, but they don’t need to be “big”. There is no need to offer your child 15 minutes on the iPad for every 15 minutes of homework, or a chocolate bar for every day of homework done willingly. In fact, the more “big” rewards you offer, the more your child will get used to expecting such big rewards. Train your child to work for smaller and more intrinsic rewards by beginning and continuing with small, but desired rewards. Also, be clear to work these incentives in a positive way that offers your child control. Instead of saying “If you don’t do your homework, you won’t get to watch TV (or go outside or play with your lego)”, say “As soon as we are finished our homework, you will be able to watch TV (or …)”. This way, your child knows that his positive behaviour leads to a positive outcome.

Finally, remember: This too shall pass! We all hate homework, and doing homework with a child who struggles with homework can be doubly challenging. Take your deep breaths and remember that this will not be forever!

I hope you all had a great Christmas and start to the new year. I’m back at work today, trying to frantically catch up on my emails, reports, blogs, and so on, and feeling completely frazzled, but I took a moment to stop and think about what the new year means to children.

Aside from the over-tired tears and dramas we had this morning as I was trying to get my children ready for their first day back at school, the start of the new year is also very important to them. Although they are not starting a new school year (those of you in the summer hemisphere have a new calendar year and school year, while we only have the new calendar year to contend with), the new year still gives the children a chance to reflect on what has happened over the past year, what went well and what they would like to change. Although we can’t really expect children to set ‘new year’s resolutions’, this reflection can be very helpful. It can help them work through issues that may be long-standing and it can really help them gain perspective. Children tend to live in the moment, and if the moment is good, that’s brilliant, but if the moment is not good, that can be quite traumatic, especially for the more emotional or thoughtful children. I don’t think I would be able to count the number of times my oldest son say “I hate my life”. Reflecting on the previous year usually involves remembering the big things, which are usually positive. Holidays, new teachers, Halloween costumes, birthday parties and many more events usually stick in the mind, or are easy to bring to mind with little reminders and they help children to realise that most of their past experiences are positive. This gives them a balance for those “bad moments”. If there have been any significantly bad experiences during the previous year, this can give children a chance to talk about them and their feelings and to put these things “in the past” while focusing on the fact that the upcoming year is likely to be better.

Here are some things I did with my children this new year to help them reflect (I will try to remember to post these and many more just before the next new year to help you plan your “new year’s party” with your children):

Photo Memory: We took photos from the past year, printed 2 copies of each onto coloured card and played the traditional “memory” game. The kids loved to be reminded of what happened and had a great opportunity to practice their story telling and their memory skills. I, of course, pretended to forget many of the events and had my children remind me, but the game was a big hit for children and adults alike.

Video Journal: We recorded a new edition of our video journal, during which I asked the children questions and they answered. Aside from being irresistibly cute watching the previous years videos to see how much the children have grown in the past year, the videos helped the children put some of their thoughts and hopes into words. And children just love watching themselves on video, so each time they do, they are getting another chance to reflect on the questions.

While we are on the topic, new year’s can be a great time for parents too. It’s a great time for us to introduce new rules or expectations that can help improve family dynamics or children’s behaviour. You can try to introduce new rules/expectations by saying something like: “We are stating a new year, so we want to start it off right by…”

Tablet Computer/iPad:

What it builds: A wide range of academic skills depending on which apps are installed.

A post about building academic skills wouldn’t be complete without a mention of a tablet/iPad. There are so many apps now that encourage reading, maths and even writing that it would take me a year to list them all, by which time there would be a whole host of new apps. Instead, let me offer some guidelines you may use when choosing apps: be very clear about which skills you want to help your child build. Try to download a free/trial version first, before you spend money on something that may not suit. Try the app out yourself to ensure it is the right level for your child (if the app is too difficult, your child will be discouraged and give up, making it harder to encourage them into educational apps in the future). If possible, try to choose apps that look more game like rather than “worksheet” or exercise like, as your child is more likely to use these, although be careful that it is not too much “game” and too little “learning”.

Notebooks/Journals:

What it builds: Writing Skills

This can often be overlooked by parents, I mean, would we like to receive a blank notebook for Christmas? In reality, though, children are inspired by the opportunity to write their own notes, doodle or draw or just scribble on paper. Books such as “Diary of a Wimpy Kid” by Jeff Kinney has helped encourage older children to write diaries. Don’t worry if your child starts a diary and doesn’t continue/finish it, just give them a new notebook and you will find they will start something else. Even if these are incomplete, these simple acts of writing will encourage your child motor and intellectual writing skills. Notebooks can be as fancy as a pre-printed diary, or as simple as a plain flip-over notebook…both will inspire your child. While I wouldn’t encourage forcing your child to use the notebook, you could encourage them to use it for tasks such as helping you make a shopping list or a list of what to do to prepare for school.

A pack of cards:

What it builds: Mathematical Skills, Planning and Attention

A simple pack of cards can be great for developing mathematical skills. Whether you play traditional card games or make up you own ones, these games are a great way to spend quality time together building maths, planning and attention skills. For younger children, arranging the cards in order, finding the missing card, playing memory games by putting them upside and turning two over a time to make a match or playing an adapted version of UNO will do the trick. For slightly older children, play an adapted version of “Go Fish” (having players find pairs that add up to 10 instead of matching pairs), use the cards for addition or multiplication practice (eat player turns two cards over and the player with the highest total (when added or multiplied) is the winner and collects the cards) or play more complex games such as Rummy or Poker which requires attention to rules and strategy.

Comics/Magazines:

What it builds: Reading Skills

Although this may seem obvious, these are often overlooked by parents because they don’t necessarily contain great educational content, however, they are great for building an interest in reading and improving reading fluency. If your child is not motivated to read (e.g. they tend only to look at the pictures), feel free to read to them initially. This will peek their interest and they will gain more confidence when re-reading it themselves. Don’t forget to play to your child’s interests. Nowadays there are magazines for children about football, superheroes, Lego, Disney characters, nature and so many more. If your child’s interests are a bit uncommon, don’t forget to search the internet…you might be surprised what you find.

Commercial Options:

There are also many commercial options available, traditional games like scrabble and monopoly (both of these have a junior version available for younger children) and many more games get invented each year. Don’t exclude these, but bear in mind that these can be limiting as to how many different ways they can be used.

Here’s to hoping you find just the right gift or stocking filler for your children/family. Happy Christmas everyone.

Poor posture may be caused by a multitude of things, but it is commonly caused by low Muscle Tone resulting in reduced joint stability. (Muscle Tone is the tension in the muscles before we ‘do’ anything with those muscles. Lower muscle tone can make a child appear “floppy”) Holding a correct stable position can be extremely difficult for children with lower muscle tone, leading to slouching, restlessness/fidgeting or fatigue. Often children have persisting childhood reflexes (i.e. primitive reflexes that have not been superseded by more skilled movements and balance reactions) and if sitting posture is not corrected, head movements can affect stability and posture as well.

Why is proper posture important?

• It keeps bones and joints in the correct alignment so that muscles are being used properly.
• It allows for free, flexible movements on the arms for function by providing a stable ‘base’.
• It helps decrease the abnormal wearing of joint surfaces that could result in arthritis.
• It decreases the stress on the ligaments holding the joints of the spine together.
• It prevents the spine from becoming fixed in abnormal positions.
• It prevents fatigue because muscles are being used more efficiently, allowing the body to use less energy.
• It prevents strain or overuse problems.
• It prevents backache and muscular pain.
• It contributes to a good appearance.

How should we sit for good posture? 

• Sit with your buttocks at the back of the seat with your hips, knees and ankles at 90 degrees.
• Your feet should be flat on the floor. If a chair is too high for a child, try adding a foot block. A foot black is anything firm that the child can rest his feet on to improve his posture. These can be home-made by using old boxes or even old telephone directories.
• The desk height should be about 2 inches above the level of the elbows when the elbows are bent and the child is sitting upright in the chair.
• When sitting on the floor a cross-legged position is best. This gives more stability than long-sitting or side-sitting, which is more tiring and requires the child to use his or her hands for support.

A Few Exercises for Building Endurance to Help Posture:

To strengthen back muscles and stability of shoulders:

Ask the child to lie on their stomach. The child must try to lift up their arms (including hands), head, shoulders, legs and thighs off the floor. Help can be given to assume this position if necessary. To make it more fun why not time it to see how long it is possible to maintain the position.

To strengthen muscle strength and postural control:

Put a few elastic bands in a bowl. Place the bowl approximately 3m (10 feet) away from the starting line. Hold onto knees or legs while the child walks on hands to the bowl (wheelbarrow walking). Once the child reaches the bowl they must put the elastic around their arms and wheelbarrow walk back to the starting point. They must try to collect the elastics as quickly as possible.